I'm White... but here are some things about me that aren't

According to 100% of black people polled today (I'm two for two yay!)... I'm the 2nd Whitest Person They Know. Not because of any one instance, but apparently because I am so white in everything that I do, it simply oozes out of my pours. So I thought to myself, "hey! Maybe I'll start a blog about all the white stuff I do!" So I polled people on facebook (because lets be honest, I likes me some adoring fans), and a couple of people said "sure, why not." Which is enough of a fan base for me! So in honor of writing a blog about being really really white... I thought I'd list some things I do that are not white.


Here is a gratuitous picture of me pretending to live the thug life:


Pretty baller huh?


1. I do not like country music. Ok... I like maybe three country songs. Man I feel like a Woman by Shania Twain. Redneck Woman by Gretchen Wilson. And I'm Still A Guy by Brad Paisley. BUT THAT'S IT! (and maybe that one song by Rascal Flatts about singing a country song backwards because its funny... and also their version of life is a highway because its a fun song to listen to when you are driving, but really THATS IT)

2. I have rhythm... Amazingly, without ever taking a single dance lesson I can... kind of shake it a little bit. NO really! People aren't embaressed to take me to public places with a dance floor. I can shake that... and go low low low low low low low (and after that I may or may not fall over). But the point is I only do the Vegan Shopper, or the T-Rex (I invented it in High school... AWESOME!), or the Sprinkler if I feel like it. Not because I have to.
3. I loves me some hip-hop. Its my music of choice. I have a particular fondness for Missy Elliot... and for that matter T-Pain. And if I'm really honest, Lil Jon cracks me up. How the crap to you manage to get paid to stand in the back of music videos and only say your name AND GET PAID FOR IT!?!?!?! Say what you want, but that man is a genius.


4. I do not get drunk at parties and sluttily dance on tables. This is a very white girl thing to do. I do not do it. Hence why I am only the SECOND whitest girl you know.

5. See the above picture? I am spelling out blood with my fingers. I have gang-sign talented hands. I can also do latin kings if I concentrate really hard and try and remember that episode of Gangland I saw them featured on.

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6. I grew up kind of near L.A.and went there fairly regularly as I got older and I went to the hood in St. Louis once. There was some kind of freestylie rap community thingy going on in this park thingy. There were also cool old cars. I liked it.

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Ok I seem to have run out of things. I was really hoping this list would make it to ten. Apparently I am too white for that. At least I can say that I don't have a lower back tattoo. Then I would be The 2nd Whitest Trash Girl U Know. OMG I own crocs! Two pairs! I am white. So before this starts devolving into you finding out how white I really am, I will give you another gratuitous picture. This time of me being really cool.






Thankfully hair restoration has come a long way since this was taken four years ago, and I now have a full head of hair.