Date Yoself!

I like going on dates with my husband. Te amo mucho gusto! (Any body speak spanish? Did I say that right? My Spanglish is a little rusty.) But that is not what this blog is about. This is about me being White. And one of the white girl things I like to do (which I recommend ALL girls do despite their ethnicity), is have Girl Dates BY MYSELF! That's right. No boys, no girls, no people, just you. You may be saying, WHAT?!? Whats the point of dates without making out (in the case of with boys), or a be-otch fest (in the case of with girls)? But you would be wrong, because the point of this date is magic. One person magic, and no... I don't mean one person and their (insert inappropriate paraphenalia here).

This Is what you need:
- a bath tub (all houses come with this, so it shouldn't be a problem, unless you are a bum, in which case I would question why you were on the internet in the first place? Are you updating your facebook status? "Fought a squirrel for a bag of chips today and totally kicked tail... EPIC WIN!" No I don't think so.)
- Bubble bath (mine is jasmine and white tea scented. its light and yummy, and totally looks like a grown up would use it. if you want to use disney princess or dora the explorer bubble bath thats cool with me, but you better have kids or else the people who see your shower... or snoop in your cabinents... whatever the case may be, are going to think weird things about you.)
-Hot Water (this is my trick. get in the bathtub when it is empty. sit like bathtub is full. turn on water to HOT. sit in bathtub until it is full. that way, you sllooooowwwlllyy acclimate to the hottest water you can stand. If you are sitting in the bathtub and sweating, you have achieved maximum hotness.)
- A glass of wine (before I could drink I often substituted this with Orange Juice... and I imagine a smoothie would go well here. The point it, you want something cold, fruity, and delicious. Some people would like to substitute diet coke, and I would tell them that the aspertame they are ingesting in large quantities is going to give them lupus. But then again, I am white, and I buy into things like that.)
-Brie cheese (that's right, snobby french cheese. I like snobby cheese. I like talking about how Brie is one of my favorite of all cheese, second only to Tillamook cheddar cheese. Which we all know is the only cheddar worth buying. Anyway, back to Brie. I recommend you cheat and get the kind that comes without the rind cause its easier to spread.)
-Crackers (NO RITZ! These have to be snobby thin crackers. The kind that cost four to five bucks a pop. You are on a date remember? I recommend ones with poppy seed, unless you have a drug test in the morning.)

Example of snobby crackers
-Entertainment (For the longest time this was a book, but I discovered if I brought a chair into the bathroom I could set my laptop on it and watch Netflix!!!!!! So I often do that now... something really girly.)

Now take a plate and cover with crackers. Cover crackers with brie cheese. Pour yourself glass of wine or whatever (diet coke kills!). Grab entertainment. Go to bathroom. Set snack and drink within easy reaching distance of you in tub. Place book in same place, or if you prefer the netflix route, get that all set up. Get in tub. Begin to run hot water. Pour a ton of bubble bath into running water. Fill tub. Eat snobby french food, relax in your very own sauna, enjoy your entertainment, and feel relaxed and superior to ALL THE WORLD!!!

Recommended dose: Once a month...

That's how I do.