A Very Potter Christms aka This Ones For You Dassie

If there is one thing I love to do above all others, its read a good book. From the time I figured out that letters made words and words made sentences, and sentences made stories, I have always been able to be suckered into reading a good book. (As evidenced by my staying up until 5:30am last night to read The Hunger Games in its entirety... I didn't manage to stay awake in Church this morning.) And my favorite book series of all time is Harry Potter. I own all the books, I own all the movies, I read fan fics of all my favorite characters. You could say I was a fan. So needless to say I was very happy when I received many wonderful Harry Potter gifts. I got two Lego key chains (one of Dobby and one of Hermione). I got Harry Potter playing cards! I got the Knight Bus and Quidditch Lego sets. And I got two books that detail the process of turning the books into movies! Last year I got a Norwegian Ridgeback in my stocking... So it turns out that getting me Harry Potter stuff is a popular way to go. Not that I'm complaining mind you. I flippin love all my Harry Potter stuffs... And as I sit here watching my little Sister-in-law trying to throw her Angry bird stuffed animals at her pig stuffed animal which is imprisoned in a pile of Jenga blocks, I reflect on the spirit of Christmas. And that is Love. We all show that love in different ways, but I especially enjoy showing my love through gifts. And I think that's totally acceptable. After all, God showed his love for us by giving us a gift, the greatest gift of all: His Son Jesus. In terms of gifts this year, I totally killed it, but more important than that is the fact that I am surrounded by people who love me, and people whom I love, and best of all, I have Jesus Christ as my lord and Savior. And now I totally got off topic, but I don't care because I sort of like where this post has gone.... Maybe I don't hate stream of consciousness as much as I thought I did.

"Playing Angry Birds"


Building the Pigs Fortification



The Finished Fort



The Birds WIN!

How I Spend my Days or the Two Whitest Shows of all time Ever

I got an unexpected full time job! I was doing In Home Care for the lady two days a week, and then the afternoon lady quit so I got to take over for her. So from noon to 6 every day I go over to this lady's house and hang out with her. And its a pretty sweet gig. I feed her lunch, do a load of laundry for her, wash a few dishes, and take her to the bathroom. That's it! The rest of my time is spent sitting on her couch reading a book while she watches TV. Her channel of choice? GMC. (Which I think stands for Gospel Music Channel. Hold on lemme go google it. YAY! Wikipedia says I'm right!) Who want to guess what the two shows that play on GMC every day from noon to 6?

If you guessed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and The Waltons, you win a gold star!


If you don't know what these shows are about, let me give you a brief synopsis. We will start with Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman:

Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman is the six season long tale of a Woman Doctor in the post civil war wild west moving to the small Colorado town of Colorado Springs to be the doctor. Dr. Mike, as she is lovingly called (full name Mikayla), spends her days healing the sick, counciling the townspeople, and fighting against very serious social issues. Such issues include: sexism, racism (both against African Americans and Native Americans), the value of Unions, adoption, child AND spousal abuse, addiction, and even the problem with getting sue-happy. That's where everyone decides to sue every one around them for every little thing they can think of. That episode taught me that more people sued each other in the 19th century than the 20th century. Oh, you might not know what that means... 1800s > 1900s for suing. Sully is Dr. Mike's one true love. He's a white guy raised by Indians. She also has three adopted kids and one biological one (with Sully). There are only two black people in town. And everyone loves and respects them, unless its a racist themed episode and then everyone in suddenly joins the KKK EXCEPT Dr. Mike of course. The two "bad guys" in town are the Barber and the guy who owns the local Saloon/whore house. But a lot of the time they also do the right thing, and only seem to hate Dr. Mike when it is convenient for the plot. It is a show that is ultimately about how one woman can change a town for the better while wearing skirts and saving lives.

And now! THE WALTONS!!!

This is the favorite TV show of all elderly people. Seriously. I do not know a single old person who does not love The Waltons. Its a TV show that Chronicles the story of a Family living on Walton's Mountain in Virginia during the depression. Things I love about this show: There are two old ladies who brew bootleg Whiskey, between all 7 of the Walton Children every single possible life scenario is tackled in its 9 seasons, um... that's all I can really think of. Things that drive me crazy: Their names are SO BACK WOODS COUNTRY!!!, people on Walton's mountain are surprisingly Unracist (and seeing as this is 1930s Virginia I don't think that's accurate), John Boys Mole!!!! Just like Dr Quinn, The Walton's love to tackle social issues and there is always family togetherness and a heartwarming ending. They make the best of what they've got, and share with everyone they can, etc. etc. etc. And every single one of them loves Walton's Mountain and what it means to them and what it represents in their awesome and loving and wonderfully together family. I'm pretty sure the Walton's don't know what the word dysfunction means.

And so every day for at least four hours, I get to spend my time watching these heartwarming and uplifting TV shows. Its like a daily dose of White People with my pay check. Ahhhh How I love my Job! Now I need to go watch something made by Tyler Perry...

Chicken Nuggets: The Brunch of champions

There are many things from my childhood that I have long since given up. I have put them aside to pursue more adultish things like bills, responsibility, and legal binge drinking* (I kid about that last part.) Heck, I even limit my coloring time to once every couple of months or so!


But I think I do a stellar job when I do color, no? The one in the middle isn't finished yet, but it was the only princess one I could find. I didn't want the picture to be too piratey.

But there is ONE thing, that I shall NEVER let go of from childhood, and that is Chicken Nuggets. If my father was here, he would take the time to point out that this proves I have absolutely no taste buds. And I would remind him, that if that's true, then he must cook crappy tasting food, because I love the way his food tastes. (I just wanted to get that conversation out of the way really quick.) For some, like my father, it may be hard to understand what on earth would make me love something so overly processed. After all, where ARE a chicken's nuggets located? But the truth is, I love their breaded chicken-y flavor, or maybe more accurately, I love BBQ sauce. Because I have found, that chicken nuggets without BBQ sauce, do not taste the same. If you put Ketchup on chicken nuggets, they taste like fish sticks (true story, try it some time.) If you put ranch dressing on chicken nuggets, they taste like sad and pathetic chicken strips (though I do LOVE a crispy chicken strip with buttermilk ranch.) If you put sweet and sour sauce on chicken nuggets, they taste like egg rolls. If you use honey mustard on chicken nuggets, all you'll do is make me crave a salad. Which by they way, is the TOTAL opposite of chicken nuggets.

I think chicken nuggets are one of those things that you are supposed to let go off as you become an adult. You move onto lunch foods like salads (if you're healthy), and Big Macs (if you're a fatty), or Sub Sandwiches (if you're at a subway). Chicken nuggets are what you buy small children at fast food places to avoid a mess. But to that I say NAY! I have always loved my chicken nuggets! And I always will. So as I sit here and finish my Tyson chicken nuggets dipped ever so lovingly in my K.C. Masterpiece BBQ sauce, I will savor each and every delicious bite, which screams "Forget you adulthood, I'm eating chicken nuggets!"



*To turn this into a fun ADULT game, take a shot every time I say Chicken Nuggets!**


** (2nd) Whitest Girl U know does not endorse binge drinking

I don't think I'm fooling anyone...

There is a part of me that I have tried so very hard to keep hidden from the world. A secret part of me, that I hoped would go by unnoticed, that people would simply overlook it. I hoped, quite simply, that my true nature would not be revealed to the world at large, because if it was, there was no hope for me socially.

I guess as a teenager I really hoped that other teenagers (clearly the people I needed to impress the most) would one day discover I was really cool. I had a sad habit of trying to reinvent myself every year. It never worked. So you would think that at some point, I would have given in and just been me. But no, I worked very hard to maintain some illusion of being moderately cool even as I moved into adulthood. But now I have done something so unbelievably uncool, that there may be no hope for me what-so-ever, and everyone will know that I am a big fat NERDY GEEK FACE!

I began watching Battlestar Galactica, and I like it.

And I guess that wouldn't have been so bad, if it hadn't have been for a comment I made tonight at Community Group. The subjects of my rats came up, and I said "Rats make great pets." To which someone replied, "Oh you mean like Scabbers?" and I shot back "NO! SCABBERS IS EVIL!" Because I was legitimately offended that anyone would compare my rats to the faithful servant of the Dark Lord, or more importantly the dirty stinking rat responsible for the death of Lily and James Potter. Unforgivable! (Did I mention that I once saved an article from a magazine because they used the word "voldamortian" like it was a real word? Genius.)

So I guess I have to finally come out of the Geek closet (which I realize isn't a surprise to 99% of you). And in honor of finally publicly embracing my horribly uncool self, I will make a list of very geeky things about myself.

1. I watch Battlestar Galactica... and I like it. I like it so much that I have been Netflix marathoning it for close to a week straight. I'm halfway through season two. I don't know why I waited this long to check it out. Resistance was clearly futile.

2. My Christmas list includes the following two items...

This one is clearly, a gryffindor sweater. (I'm loom knitting a scarf to match)

And THIS is a wand that you can program as a universal remote for your TV... so instead of pressing buttons, you flick it different ways to control your TV. Also, it must be noted that I promised the hubs that if he got me this for Christmas, I would play Settlers of Cataan with him.

3. My butt looked like this when I attended the midnight book release of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. (And yes, I am wearing Gryffindor colors... so sue me.)

(If we could have a moment of silence for Borders where this photo was taken... You were an amazing bookstore and you will truly be missed.) Fun facts though, not only is my butt right... but I read that book in 9 hours straight, from midnight to 9am that night, and then spent the next week or so irritated because no one else had finished it and I didn't have anyone to talk about it with.

4. My favorite video game of all time is Pokemon for the game boy. It doesn't really matter which version, except for yellow. I didn't like yellow because you HAD to start out with Pikachu and the first gym leader was Brock who only uses Rock Pokemon and Electric Pokemon are USELESS against Rock Pokemon so you pretty much had to spend WAY too much time catching OTHER Pokemon and building up their strength so that you might have a decent chance at beating the FIRST FREAKIN GYM LEADER! Unfair to make it so hard so fast in my opinion.

5. You know what I got in trouble for growing up? Reading. That's right... I got in trouble for reading too much. Or rather, I got in trouble for reading with a flashlight under my covers at night instead of being asleep. Or reading under my desk when I was supposed to be doing math. More than once in Jr High I got in trouble for trying to sneak INTO the library.

6. "What's that got to do with the price of peas in Persopolis?" (If you know where this quote is from, congratulations... you and I have the same taste in literature. If you use this in your every day language like I do, Congratulations... you are a big fat nerdy geek face.)

7. I read textbooks for fun... but only the ones I find interesting. Also, when I am really bored, I have a habit of finding (and reading) really weird books. I once found a book in my Grandparents' basement that said you could tell whether or not a person was introverted or extroverted by how much their mouth watered when you put a drop of lemon juice on their tongue, which sounds crackpot to me. But the book also said that people who dream always in color and almost always remember their dreams are the most creative and intelligent... and I do both of those things... so I'd like to go on believing the book was correct. Never mind that it was written in the 70s.

8. www.thinkgeek.com has a taun-taun sleeping bag with a zipper pull shaped like a lightsaber and the inside fabric is designed to look like guts. If you don't think that's cool... there is something very wrong with you in my book. Also, come to think of it, pretty much everything on that website is awesome. If you've never checked it out GO THERE!!! If you don't find anything awesome or hilarious on that website, you might actually be a normal human being.

9. I played Dungeons and Dragons in Junior High and High School by choice. And I had fun doing it. Its probably because of this that I find the Order of The Stick web comics so hilarious. I am often ashamed that I get 99% of the jokes in it.

10. I recently got into a discussion involving the TARDIS which did not involve any of the following key words "Doctor", "Who", "TARDIS", and yet I knew exactly what we we talking about. The other person in the conversation then proceeded to say "Which ones your favorite?" And I said "The 10th hands down." and He said "well so and so's is definitely the 9th, but I prefer the Tom Baker years myself." I would like to point out that this was only the second conversation I had ever had with this person and neither one of us INTENTIONALLY brought up ANYTHING to do with Doctor Who. Our natural flow of conversation just led us to it.

So there you go. I'm a big geek. I won't try to hide it anymore. I don't think I was doing a very good job to begin with. I guess I will just go on having discussions about muggle quidditch in public and hope that nobody judges me if i accidentally say "frak" in a conversation. Thank goodness I'm not a Trekkie and I don't play WoW!

Some White People Things I Saw in Denver

My trip to Denver, Colorado in Pictures... White People Pictures.


But If your kid isn't Gifted... clearly this school won't help them out at all.


Here we are enjoying ethnic food! In this case Japanese Soda! Mine's Creamy Melon flavored.


THE FARMERS MARKET! I bought coffee.


Smelling a spicy chai tea at a tea store. Notice all the teas behind the store clerk.


Whole foods! Because Remember, we buy organic... and fair trade... and other white people things..

So there you go. Some white people things I saw in Denver. It was an awesome awesome trip. Possibly the best weekend I have had in a long time.

Because every skin tone is beautiful...

Here is the thing about Malls. They make you feel bad about yourself. I'm pretty sure that's how they make all their money. And that makes sense. I mean a place that makes its money primarily on clothing stores wants you to think that the clothes you have are out of date, out of style, and out of your grandmothers closet. I grew up in the land of Malls, and spent much of my sad and pathetic adolescence trying desperately to reinvent myself every school year. (Helpful tip: It never works. No body's opinion of you has changed over the summer.) Then I moved to Alaska, and BOY did life get better. I mean sure, there are still people who dress better than I do, but mostly people don't care so much about that. Also, I got married. So I guess since I always have someone telling me what a Hottie I am, I don't worry about how I look too much.

But recently I was back in the land of lypo, and luis vitton, and I went to the mall. This is the mall I went to:

I went to this mall as a kid. Well, I mean this part of the mall (it's outdoor courtyard) wasn't there when I was a kid. It's gotten considerably more pompous and snobby in the last few years.

I went to this mall to help my friend find layers to keep her warm in England this year. And it started out harmlessly enough, and I was doing good... until we went into Sephora. If you don't know, that's a make-up store. A HUGE store wall to wall full of beauty products. It was my mistake really. I asked if we could go in. Then once I was in I remembered that I mostly don't wear make-up, and when I do I feel like I never really do a good job. And soon I began to feel really really bad about myself. Which put me into a poopy mood.

(Number One rule of Mall shopping: NEVER go feeling poopy. You ALWAYS make sure you look your hottest. Here is why... Pretend you are a castle. A Castle's primary job is defense right? So when you build your castle you build extra high and thick walls so that when the enemy invariably comes to rough up your peasants, steal your gold, and make off with your lady friend, it takes them a lot more time, effort, and supplies to accomplish that. If the Mall is your enemy, and you are the castle, then your confidence in your hotness is your walls. Without a strong and firm belief in your attractiveness, your walls will crumble and the enemy will get you.)

So after that, I was drowning in shallow pathetic-ness (and sadly the hubs was not there to shamelessly make out with me in public to make me feel better.) The last stop of the day was the MAC booth in Macy's. My friend wanted to get some awesome Mascara for looking hot in England, and while she was at it, she decided she wanted to invest in a nice lipstick. Now important to this story is knowing that my friend is Ethnic. She is Chexian, which if you don't know, is half Chinese and half Mexican. And she is a HOTTIE! We still have arguments with each other about who is prettier (her saying me, and me saying her... I'm right.) So because she can't find a lipstick that she thinks is nice on her own, she asks the MAC lady (who is white). Only it turns out that the MAC lady is no help, and my friend begins to feel more and more frustrated. Finally when the lady walks off to go help someone else, my friend mutters "White people have no idea what to do with brown skin."

Man, I felt so bad for her. All she wanted was to find a color that looked nice on her skin, and instead all she got was a whole lot of self doubt and feeling icky. I guess that's something I don't think about, which is probably because I think people with brown skin are so lucky. But most make-up IS designed for white people, and most people probably AREN'T trained to know how to do make-up on people with brown skin. So even though walking into a make-up store might make me feel bad about myself because I don't wear make-up and don't look perfect 90% of the time, at least finding make-up that works on me would be super easy. So in conclusion... Malls are stupid, make-up is even stupider, and all skin tones are beautiful, especially my friend's. MAC should get with the program, because they have no business making someone as gorgeous as her feel bad about themselves.



Isn't she stunning? I love her!

White People Wednesdays

I have learned that vacation is not conducive to blogging. So far, I have mostly managed to keep up with doing White People Wednesdays only. But now that I am now home (and I mean just home. Our plane landed in Anchorage this morning at 1:15. We left Anchorage somewhere around 2:30 or 3:00. Paused somewhere in Denali Park for a nap. And then napped again when we got to Nenana, and finally arrived home at 10:30am.) Bethany is sleepy and tired and cranky and hungry cause there ain't a lot of food in de house. So I'm gonna do a White People Wednesday post, visit a friend, and maybe take me a nap. Remember that you can view all the things that white people like by going to the website www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.

#17: Hating their parents- I must admit that this is trend among many of my peers. And I have been occasionally guilty of complaining about my parents, especially when I was a teenager. But the truth is, I have great parents, and I love them. They were neither too strict nor too lax. They weren't perfect parents, but being human sort of makes that impossible for anyone to be a perfect parent.

#18: Awareness- Apparently, this is solving the worlds problem via awareness? This makes me think of a commercial I saw one time at the movies. It was celebrities talking about a disease. The kind where they film them one at a time in black and white, and they each list a statistic and try and make you care and donate money or something. And at the end, they revealed what the disease was... Influenza...aka the flu. I really thought it was a waste of commercial. They would have been better off making a commercial about AIDS or something. In the end, awareness brings light to a problem, but its only by doing we can fix things.

#19: Traveling- I LOVE TO TRAVEL! And I do both First and Third World. I have been to Canada (which I know doesn't really count), Mexico four times (three of which were NOT in resort towns), and Barbados. The hubs and I might go live in Japan for a year, and we are planning on visiting our friends in Scotland. Also, I love Airports. Even if I am not going anywhere I always get excited when i am in a Airport. I loves me some travel.

White Points: 11 (I counted awareness as half a point.)
Non-White Points: 7 (Remember I counted awareness as half a point.)