White People Wednesdays

Holy Cow this week has been crazy! My mother and Grandmother are running me ragged. So far since last Wednesday, we have gone to a family reunion, hiked up a mountain to a lake, Jet boat toured the Rogue river (which led me and the hubs to come up with a SUPER AWESOME raft down the Rogue with a big group of people family vacation plan. Be jealous.), and drove to/hiked around and down to Crater Lake. Its been a lot, so pretty much I come back exhausted and then have to get up early again to go onto the next thing. Vacationing is hard work! On the upside, mi madre bought me (and also technically the hubs) a brand new camera for our anniversary!!! Since my old one was pretty much broken and crappy.

Here is a picture of the new one:


Its a beautiful plum color. You can't tell in this picture because my Grandparents have crappy lighting in their house and its dark. I've pretty much been lusting after this camera for something close to six months, and I'm pretty stoked that I have it. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), because it has 14 mega pixels I don't have enough ram on my computer for the pictures to behave properly, so now I have to upgrade my ram.

Anywho now it is Wednesday, and so once again its time to update the running tally on how White I am. Last week, white people points were barely in the lead! Remember that you can see the full list of stuff white people like on www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.

#14: Having Black Friends- Oh jeez... I am so guilty of this one. I love having black friends. I think they are very cool and interesting, and have very pretty skin. And I admit, that maybe... just maybe... as an added side note, I feel like I appear less racist to OTHER black people if I have black friends. But mostly, mostly I like my black friends because they are very cool people. Sadly, I have this horrible horrible problem where when I talk to people who ethnically belong to a controversial issue (either in the present or the past), I feel compelled to talk about it. When I talk to German people, I want to talk about their thoughts on WW2, Hitler, and the holocaust. And when I talk to Black people, I want to talk about slavery. *Sigh* I have to work really hard keeping my stupid big mouth shut.

#15: Yoga- Here is my thing with Yoga... I think its a really fun and trendy thing to do. In my head taking weekly Yoga classes is a small part of my "perfect life" (which incidentally never included living in Alaska... hmmm). I did Yoga videos with my friend when I was living at her house and it was AWESOME! You totally felt better afterwards, like everything in your body was aligned or something. What I don't like about Yoga is how hard it is to find either a yoga class or a yoga video where they take the eastern spirituality out of it. I don't like the Hindu-y undertones (or really obvious overtones sometimes). It makes me feel spiritually squirmy... so instead I tend to do Pilates... or Zumba!!! But not gonna lie, LOVE the way I feel after doing Yoga. Also, I love my Yoga pants. (they currently have holes in them. I need to go to American Apparel while I'm in the lower 48 and get a new pair.)

#16: "Gifted" Children- Well, I agree. This is a trend among white people. But as I do not have any children yet, I cannot go on and on about how gifted they are. Though I am absolutely positive that they will be gifted, and here is why. I was a gifted child. That's right. I'm special, and I don't mean in an ED sort of way. I started talking at 9 months. I started walking at 10 months. And by age 4 I could read a book all by myself. And I don't mean I memorized a book that I liked a lot (I did that when I was two). No, I mean, you hand me a book I had never read before, and I could read it. Granted, I may not have been reading at a Junior High Level at that point, but I could read. On a side note I was reading at a college level in Junior High. Oh boy I love bragging! See, so I was gifted. I'm sure my children will be gifted. And even if they aren't OBVIOUSLY gifted, I will find something for them to be gifted about, because lets be honest, good parents always find something their kids do to brag about. I will be no exception.

Well that all puts white people stuffs in the lead... so much for a neck and neck race.

White Points: 9.5
Non-White Points: 5.5

Here is a picture of my legs blinding people when exposed to direct sunlight. It was taken with my new camera! :)


Very sad side note: This is after my legs have been sunburned three of four times in the last week. And they are STILL white. I hope all of my children are born with my hubby's skin genes. He tans.

Sunburn, My Old Friend

Its been a while since I saw you last,
And frankly I was glad
to think that you had left for good.
I was certain that you had.

I'd thought I'd learned to keep you out,
a life that's UV free.
Instead I find you snuck back in.
Why can't you leave me be?

So now I've gone from white to red,
a lobster in the pot.
My cells are mutating as we speak.
IS THAT CANCER OR A SPOT?!?!

White People Wednesdays

So very very tired! Arrived today in Oregon, which I think is a White People Mecca. It seems to me that lots of white people live here anyway. I came this close (I guess you can't see how close this close is... pinch together your thumb and forefinger, now slightly separate them. That close.) to not posting today. But I guess as you can see, I'm doing it anyway, so here goes. Last I checked, we had just finished number 9. Remember that you can view the entire list at www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

#10: Wes Anderson movies- I have never ever seen a Wes Anderson movie. And I'm not about to start now! (I'm feeling white people rebellious today)

#11: Asian Girls- Oh gosh I just love Asian girls! Actually I'm lying... I do not have a weird thing for Asian girls. Though to be fair in this post, they admit that this one doesn't really pertain to white women, so maybe I won't count it. Which means I think today I will do four. (Though to be fair, I do know quite a few white guys who really do have a thing for asian women.)

#12: Non-Profit Organizations- I think that non-profits are good! I had an internship at a non-profit once for six months. Its nice to be able to help people without having to make sure they can pay you. And I admit, its does make you feel really good about yourself when you can help out the disadvantaged. (Of course, on the other hand, I rarely every give homeless people cash. Most of the time because I don't carry cash. Oooh one time I had a case of Vanilla Coke and so I gave this homeless guy one. He seemed disappointed. But anyway, I do really like helping people, I guess I shouldn't worry about what the homeless are dong with my money.)

#13: Tea- I like green tea, and peppermint tea when I am sick. But mostly tea is just a big disappointment to me. Take apple flavored tea. It smells delicious, but when I drink it does NOT taste like apple cider. I would rather have apple cider, or coffee. Tea is not my preferred warm beverage.

White Points: 6.5
Non-White Points: 5.5
(remember, Asian girls do not count for me... because I am not a white male.)

Racially Inappropriate Music

I mentioned in my first post that I like Hip Hop. And that's true. In fact, it is my music of choice. When I'm feeling particularly awesome, I like to blast my hip hop playlist in my iPod and dance around in my house. (I like to think that I look like Lil Mama dancing, but really I look more like... who is a really awkward white person trying to dance? Like them.) Not only do I like hip hop, I even enjoy some gangsta rap. I occasionally enjoy pretending to be a bit ghetto, and since I live in the frozen North there isn't really anyone to call me out on my B.S. Score!

But today, me, the hubs, and our friends were driving around town, and I thought to myself, "Self we need some music." Sadly, the stereo in our car does NOT work. Even sadder, the wiring behind the stereo is so screwed up, only a professional will be able to fix it. So our current sound system is my iPod plugged into small purple portable speakers. I love purple. Anywho, the first song that popped up on my iPod was Nelly's Grillz.

And my friend in the back goes, "Do you like Gangsta Rap?"
And I said, "Yes I do."
And he goes, "But your white..."
To which I replied, "Is that racial inappropriate for me to like Gangsta Rap? I also like Hip Hop." (But lets be honest, does Grillz count as Gangsta Rap? I'm not sure.)

Anywho, this got me thinking. What is white people music? I mean, clearly Country, but what else? So I googled 'White People Music", and one of the links I got was The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love so of course I had to click on it. And I will now list all the songs on that list and tell you whether or not I actually like them.

#1: Positive K- I Got A Man... I've never actually heard this song, and I'm not going to start now! So there!
#2: Digital Underground- The Humpty Dance... I'm not sure I have heard this song. And I am too lazy to youtube it.
#3: Biz Markie- Just A Friend... Also, haven't heard this one. Though to be fair, it came out in 1989. The year I was born, and my parents weren't really into rap at the time. (They aren't really into rap now. In fact, my Dad only listens to Public Radio. Thank God I'm not THAT white.)
#4: Young MC- Bust A Move... Hey I know this one! Yay! But I wouldn't call this one of my favorite.
#5: Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock- It Takes Two... hahaha seriously, I have no idea what half these songs are!
#6: Naughty By Nature- Hip Hop Hooray... Yup! You guessed it! I have no idea WHAT that song is.
#7: Tag Team- Whoomp (There it is)... YAY! Another one I have heard of!!! And I admit, I do love it. It is super fun to sing along to. So sue me.
#8:Vanilla Ice- Ice Ice Baby... Its on my iPod. But I don't have all the lyrics memorized.
#9: House of Pain- Jump Around... Nope, don't know this one either.
#10: Sir Mix-a-lot- Baby Got Back... Yes this is on my iPod. Yes I LOVE dancing to this song. And yes, I do have the whole thing memorized. In fact, this is the ringtone for one of my dearest friends because every time I hear it, I think of her.

So, that's four songs I know. This list is stupid and outdated. Clearly the person who wrote this, has not talked to white people who were born in the late 80s and grew up in the 90s/early 2000s. Also, I learned that the googles fail when it comes to googling white people music. Clearly this topic requires more research. Maybe I'll take a poll. The Book of Face will not fail me! More on this subject later!

White People Wednesdays

Once again, once again, its time to see how White I am, not just in skin tone (cause we all know that's not arguable at all), but in personality and culture. Remember you can view the whole list here at http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/full-list-of-stuff-white-people-like/

#7: Diversity- In this post they say white people only like diversity when it comes to restaurants. And I admit, one of the things I do not like about living in Alaska is the lack of cultural diversity when it comes to food. And I guess living in a state where pretty much everybody is either White or Native Alaskan isn't super diverse. But I did grow up in Southern California where there are lots of ethnic diversity. On the other hand, I grew up in an upscale mostly white people kind of community. Hmmm... this one is tough... GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! And I guess given my choice, I would raise my family in a nice upscale community, but I don't think I would pick somewhere just because there were a lot of white people. Ok, I think I'm gonna count this one. Decision MADE!

#8: Barack Obama- No. No I do not care for Obama. I don't hate him. I didn't vote for him, and while I think he is very charismatic, I don't think he is an exceptional president. I hope the republicans can come up with a decent candidate for 2012 so that Obama doesn't get reelected.

#9: Making You Feel Bad About Not Going Outside- Oh jeeze... I make MYSELF feel bad about not going outside. I love being outside! I always feel so great if I spend time outside... going for a walk, or hiking, or swimming, or camping, or whatever. However, I am a lazy bum, and I often just don't bother doing anything about it. Which is stupid, because I should be taking advantage of the light and the warmth while it lasts. So I guess, I qualify for this one, because I do it to myself... sigh... I should really go for a hike...

White Points: 5.5
Non-White Points: 3.5

To make me feel better, here is a picture of me hiking:


Actually, this picture does not make me feel better. I look like a retard. My friend said I looked like a "Craptar" which I guess is what a retard Velociraptor would look like...

AHA!

I've found something where having white skin is better than having dark skin! I'm really not trying to be racist here... I'm not really a racist type person. And in fact, I often wish my skin was darker. I'm so white I blind people at the beach!


SEE?!?! (We were making Sand Castles... it was AWESOME! Except for the part where my tan looked white compared to everyone else's white...)

The truth is I was born a century late or something. Just my luck that my freakishly pale skin would have made me so smokin' Hot in the early 1900s... sigh. I hope all of my children are born with my husbands skin. He tans.

Anyway, in most things I tend to think having dark skin is way better than having white skin. You don't burn in the sun. You tan. You are less likely to get skin cancer (at least I think you are, I don't really know. I haven't done the research.) You can wear Orange! I love orange as a color. Not construction worker orange, but pretty much any other shade of orange, like pumpkin or tangerine or burnt sienna (or is that brown? I can never remember). Anyway, I have to stick with cool colors. Dark ones in particular look nice on me... the jewel tones you know. I can wear red... if its the blue based sort of red... like cranberry. And occasionally I find a yellow I can pull off, but never an orange. And I so wish I could wear orange... if only I had darker skin.. sigh.

Wow this blog post is getting off topic. The point is... there is one area I have found where having light skin is better than having dark skin and that is... TATTOOS!!!
I love tattoos. I think that they can really be works of art. And so in this one area I am thankful that I am freakishly translucently pale (Did I mention I turn blue and purple when I am cold? True Story.) Here is why:

White Girl with Tattoo:

Please note that this is not me. I am not brave enough to get a tattoo this big in an area that will most certainly stretch out during pregnancy.

Black Guy with Tattoo:

See? It doesn't pop so much.

So in the end, sure I burn like a lobster when exposed to sunlight for more than five minutes. Sure I'm freckle-y on my arms and shoulders. And I'm almost guaranteed to get skin cancer thanks to previously mentioned burns and a long family history. But at least there is one thing to be thankful for about my freakishly pale skin (thanks Irish ancestors!) All of my tattoos pop on my skin. (I have two of them in case you are wondering.) Which I guess means I should get more of them? Heeheehee!


Here is a picture of me looking whiter than other white people (and one or two Asian people). There really is no hope for me.

Soy is Evil!!! And other things that "scare" me

Is it just me, or do white people (which as we all know includes me) tend to get on a "this particular food item is evil kick"? For one of my friends, its hydrogenated stuff. She buys natural peanut butter. Freaked out when she saw me put Crisco in my pie crust (I offered to put lard in instead, but I don't think she liked that idea very much either). She does seem to have a blind spot when it comes to Nutella though... True story, Nutella is not healthy, but because it has hazelnuts in it I like to pretend it is. ANYWHO I too have a "particular food item that is evil". And that is SOY.



Not this soy... this soy is Edamame and it is DELICIOUS!!! Especially on sushi nights at home... yummy! And its good for you. No, what I am talking about is Genetically Modified Soy. See, the US is the number one grower of soy (not China! I know... I was surprised too. But China comes in second so you weren't far off.) And MOST of it is genetically modified, which basically means they take some foods DNA and shove some forgein DNA stuff to make them do things they wouldn't normally do. Wikipedia lists one example of a pig that was genetically modified to produce Omega-3 Fatty Acids by adding a specific gene of a roundworm... which looks like this:



Do wanna hurl too? Good. Anyway, the soy is modified by adding a bacteria that makes them resistant to a certain kind of herbicide.... which I guess makes it possible for them to grow it in huge amounts without them worrying about dying or whatever. Hence, the US being the biggest Soy producer in the world. Now the scariest bits: When fed to Hamsters, in three generations the hamsters were mostly unable to reproduce. Those that did, had really messed up babies that wound up dying!!! So needless to say after reading that genetically modified soy freaked me out. So I though to myself, I'll just avoid things with soy products! But here is the problem... SOY IS IN EVERYTHING!

Its in Pop Tarts!
Its in Chocolate!
Its in the Powerbars I love to eat!
Its in soooo many things!!!! Almost everything has some form of soy in it!!! This really just makes me wanna cry. I love pop tarts!!! So maybe I'll just keep eating things with GM Soy and pretend they don't have it. Its like plugging your ears and going "lalalalalala I can't hear you" but with your eyes... or maybe your stomach... Or maybe I'll just start hating hydrogenated things instead, because that would be a bit easier to avoid.